Finally! Here it is! DUT DUH DUH DAH! My spit analysis for the 2012 season! I did spit counts during 25 games this season. Here are the results, organized into a nice table for you:
|# of games caught||Total # of spits||Avg. # spits/game||Highest # of|
Our boy, Pablo “The Panda” Sandoval, was the leader with 21 on camera spits during one game on July 14th. He also had the highest average number of spits per game at 7.1. I’m sure several of you predicted he would be the winner of the overall Giants Spit Master General award this season. However, he came nowhere near Chris Stewart’s record from last year of 38 spits in one game. He also could not match the overall season Spit Master General, Chris Snyder of the Astros, with 44 spits in that same game on July 14th. That game went to 12 innings, but come on! That’s still a lot of spitting! Pablo didn’t even beat the record for umpire spits, that being 40 spits achieved by Rob Drake on August 24th.
Here are some other notable records that were set for this season:
– Most spits by a manager: Bruce Bochy at 8 (August 5th)
– Game Spit Master General who didn’t even play in that game: Tim Lincecum at 7 (July 21st)
– Madison Bumgarner snot rocket record: 9 (September 9th)
– Lowest spit count average: 1 spit every 5 minutes (August 15th)
– Highest spit count average: 1 spit every 1.5 minutes (July 14th)
– Most total spits in a single game: 160 (of course, on July 14th)
– Least total spits in a single game: 33 (May 26th)
OK. So there are all the disgusting results. Now onto one of the main reasons I do this: looking for the guys who don’t expel the contents of their mouths during games EVER!!! These are the true gentlemen of the game, the boys whose mammas have raised them right.
I’ll have to start off with one guy who was never caught spitting that I had to disqualify from the competition. Guillermo Mota was never caught spitting during my spit counts. However, since he was suspended for 100 games (more than half) of the season, I have chosen to disqualify him. He was only caught spitting once last season as well. Better luck next season, Guillermo. Just stay out of your kid’s cough syrup this time please!
Our first winner of the Thank You For Not Spitting award is receiving recognition for the second season. My thanks goes to BRANDON CRAWFORD for keeping his saliva where it belongs for his two years with the big boys. Yes, Ginny – your boy has done it again! Brandon – please give your mom a big hug from me for teaching her kid manners. And I’m so glad you’re not chewing tobacco and ruining your health – we need you around on the team for a long, long time!
Our second winner was a new addition to the team this season. Even though he was only with the Giants for August and September (and of course, during the post season), I am counting him because he played in every one of the games that I counted during that time. He also did not spit in a game that I counted while he was playing for his previous team. That team is the Philadelphia Phillies. And that player is…HUNTER PENCE!!! I mentioned in an earlier blog that I hadn’t caught him spitting yet, and he kept that going through the rest of the season. This guy has shown himself to be a true gentleman in so many ways, especially through his acknowledgement of his teammates’ accomplishments when asked about his own. Sending your mom my thanks for raising one of the good ones, and please keep it up next season.
Finally, I have a surprise winner. I really thought I had caught this guy spitting during the season, but when I looked over the stats, he didn’t appear anywhere. He is another new addition to the team this season, one of the kids. I hope his saliva-retaining abilities will rub off on some of his fellow Latin teammates (especially Pablo!). That player is…GREGOR BLANCO!!! Congratulations on your fantastic first season with the Giants, and thanks from all the female baseball fans for keeping your spit off the field and out of the dugout. Estoy enviando abrazos a su madre para criar a su hijo correctamente.
So at the beginning of next season, I’ll send out Spit Master General certificates to Pablo and Chris Snyder (and Rob Drake if I can figure out how to get one to him) and Thank You For Not Spitting certificates to Brandon, Hunter, and Gregor. Included with the Spit Master General certificates will be some educational info on the dangers of chewing tobacco because you know that’s why they are spitting so much. Unfortunately, the average number of spits per game by Giants team members has not changed significantly since last year (34.3 last year vs. 35.0 this year). But I guess that means it hasn’t gone up significantly either (always trying to look for the positive). I’m still holding out hope that one day MLB will ban chewing tobacco so that this madness (and grossness) will end. Until that day, I’m begging all my boys to PLEASE KNOCK OFF ALL THIS SPITTING!!!! Thank you for listening.
Next blog will be about contract status of the current players. There have already been some changes made, with Eli going to the Yankees (sniff), Emanuel Burriss being sent down to Triple A Fresno, and Clay Hensley (aka “praying mantis tamer”) electing for free agency. Plus awards (including MVP) will be announced soon. I’ll try to keep you updated when I hear anything. Until then, as ever, GO GIANTS!!